What Do We Do With Fear?--Dr. Danny Purvis

What Do We Do With Fear?
By: Dr. Danny Purvis


In his groundbreaking book (A Grief Observed) on the issues related to pain and suffering, C.S. Lewis wrote: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear”. I have always found that a fascinating quote especially as it relates to our topic today. If you are unfamiliar with the circumstances surrounding that quote, let me elaborate. Lewis, along with being an amazing author and fervent Christian, remained unmarried into his late 50s. After exchanging letters with an American divorcee (and fellow Believer) named Joy Gresham and then subsequently meeting her, they fell in love and married in 1957 when Lewis was 58 years old. Joy died from terminal cancer in 1960.

Can you imagine? By the time that Lewis had reached his mid-fifties he had probably resigned himself to a life of bachelorhood. He was probably very much at peace with that reality. But then. All of a sudden. Out of the blue. He meets the love of his life. God had allowed him to meet this love and enjoy the amazing life that only spouses can understand. In fact, his quotes about his wife are enough to melt the heart. Especially when you consider that by all accounts Lewis was not an overly sentimental person with large displays of emotion. And when that wonderful thing happens. All of a sudden. Out of the blue. The love of his life is gone. Joy had sent her first letter to Lewis in 1950. First met him in person in 1952. Married him in 1957. And was gone by 1960. It was a whirlwind in all of both the best and worst ways.

As he was processing all that had happened, Lewis kept a journal of all that he had been thinking and feeling. He tracked his thoughts pertaining to his relationship with God while trying to rectify all that had happened. He later turned those thoughts in the book A Grief Observed. It is, without a doubt, one of the most important works in Christian history on the subject of pain and suffering. He published it under a pseudonym so it would not be connected to him. Ironically, after it became well known, some of his close friends actually recommended he read it. It is a difficult read. Lewis details his very real crisis of faith in heartbreaking reality. Because, in fact, it had really happened to him.

Remember, however, that at this point Lewis’ reputation (beyond his works of fiction) was as a Christian Apologist…especially in the area of pain and suffering. He had written The Problem of Pain in 1940.  He was an expert in the idea that pain and suffering were an integral inevitability in life and that this reality should not cause us to waiver in our trust of God. In fact, Lewis wrote that pain is God’s “megaphone to rouse a deaf world” and that it can even serve a good purpose. But those pronouncements were from a safer distance. Not a safe distance. There is no such thing as a safe distance from pain. But there are sometimes “safer” distances. Lewis knew pain, of course.

He fought in the trenches of World War 1 and was wounded while seeing many of his comrades killed. He lived through the Battle of Britain. He and his brother used their country home to house children moved out of London during the Blitz. He tried to reenter the military for World War 2 but was too old. His mother died when he was 10 which led to his embrace of atheism for a lot of his life. So, Lewis knew pain. But he didn’t know this pain. And when he lost the love of his life, he compared the feelings associated with grief to the idea of fear. He said all the same feelings associated with fear were exactly the same as the feelings associated with the grief he endured when he lost his wife.

And that was the point. In A Grief Observed, Lewis details the travails of working through this grief/fear. At one point he uses the quote of Jesus standing at the door and knocking by responding that he was no longer sure Jesus was really even at the door in the first place. You see and feel his suffering as he makes his way through this horrible journey. But eventually, God brings him to the truth. Lewis was reminded that the essence of living out a true faith was not letting fear lead to mistrust of God. After all…there is nowhere in Scripture where God promises we will not encounter things that will cause us to fear. He does not promise us that we will not lose spouses. He does not promise that we will not lose children, parents, and friends. He does not promise we will not lose our own lives. What he does promise is that He will be with us, and we have no reason to fear. And that when we find ourselves in fearful situations, He is still in control…that He loves us…and we are still His.

Jesus sweated blood before His Passion began…but didn’t lose His trust in God. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego plainly stated that they had no idea if God would rescue them from the fiery furnace…but they didn’t lose their trust in God. Paul was told via prophecy from Agabus that if he went to Jerusalem he would be arrested and turned over to the Gentile legal authorities (Acts 21:10-12). Even though his friends pleaded with him not to go, he did anyway. He faced terrible persecution and he knew it…but didn’t lose his trust in God.

We cannot let our fear lead to mistrusting God. We can’t. Fearful situations will abound in our lives. Even the grief we experience at a loss can invoke fear. Lewis felt that fear and it nearly led to his mistrust of God. It is, in fact, during those times where we need to cling to trust in Him more than ever. The pain will still hurt. The loss will still resonate with us. But we have to trust Him no matter what. Because after all, where else are we gonna go? At the end of A Grief Observed, Lewis came to this conclusion.  He likened a Christian’s faith to a piece of rope. He said that as long as the only thing we were using to the rope for was to tie up an old trunk…we had no problem trusting it for that purpose. However, if that same piece of rope was the only thing keeping us dangling over a deadly precipice, would we still feel the same way? The circumstances cannot dictate our trust in God. Our trust in Him must dictate our approach to circumstances.  

-Dr. Danny Purvis

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